May 8 2009

Blog Post

Photos: May 2009

A new photo album has been added, called “May 2009” . It is mainly of the First of May Fete (Workers’ Holiday), but also has pictures of kids playing American football and baseball at the collège ….

World Map Project

The World Map mural is DONE. You can see photos at the normal site. It was pretty exhilarating putting the last paint stroke on and knowing I was completely finished. Since the end of Marc, I spent every afternoon with the students and the weekends (mainly by myself) as well as during the 10-day Easter vacation I was at the school every day for 5 hours including weekends.

The World Map Project was a little different than I expected. The fabulous manual that gives you all the instructions, the grid outlines, the paint guides, etc. etc., is really (in my humble opinion) designed for an American-like service project. My kids in village are not American teenagers. There is no culture of after-school activities or extracurricular interests or volunteering your time without being obligated to. (This is not necessary Togo; in bigger towns or in more motivated schools there are extra curricular activities). Also, “kids will be kids”, so anytime I had more than 5 kids together it was a disaster in terms of concentration and making mistakes and goofing off. There were several kids that worked well and were very meticulous in their work, even though they didn’t come on weekends to help me.

During the Easter vacation nearly every time I was there there was a quiet boy from the troisieme (who was not included in the regular group of kids who were working on the map during the week) who I had never met before but who showed up regularly and simply worked quietly on the map with him. His name was Eli and I appreciated very much. One day I had to go to Atakpame so I bribed Kokoutse my 20yearold brother in the class of troisieme to go with his friend Bogavi to finish drawing Europe in my absence so I could start painting the next day. (I knew those Tshirts with American flags I brought back from the States would come in handy!) Seven year old Adjo also loved to traipse over to the collège to “help” and to watch me and to hand me paintbrushes. Also probably because she knew I always had cookies or some other snack to nibble on at the end of the day. Then she would help me carry all the paint back to Justine’s where I was storing it. Emmanuel who is in lycée also helped me paint in Russia one day when he was using the collège’s blackboards to study. But the point is everyone who helped me wasn’t “supposed” to – they just wanted to, as opposed to the 30 or so kids that worked on the map during the school day that were “supposed” to be doing so.

Another point of interest is most Togolese kids can’t really paint (they use the paintbrush like a crayon and move it back and forth regardless of borders or accuracy) so even though I was highly frustrated and bitter towards the lack of enthusiasm to help me during the vacation, secretly I know that the map is a lot prettier because I was mainly the one who filled in the colors. Painting the map was fun and very relaxing (I always loved doing murals in Philly). It is relatively large – about 4.5 meters by 2.25 meters. I ended up writing in most of the countries’ names in French with a sharpie (talk about BORING having to look it all up in a dictionary).

The only continent whose labels did not get finished was Europe. The maps we used were from 1995 and hence in Europe particularly there are great inaccuracies. You can just imagine what I felt when I discovered this. I feel a little guilty knowing that this map is not 100% accurate but on the other hand, the grids had already been drawn and it was too hard to find another map by the time I noticed. Africa too was problematic (it still had “Zaire” on it!) but I just labeled it the Congo and hoped no one would notice any erroneous borders. WHOOPS. The whole of the European Balkans area is completely unlabeled (maybe cause half of those countries don’t exist any more….) but no one seems to have noticed so far……

After talking to other PCVs about my frustrations and difficulties with the map, I realized that the map might be one of those projects that in theory sounds great and that Peace Corps directors etc may encourage you to do, and that sounds great in the United States —- but in reality, is more of a project for a volunteer to do to see something concrete that they’ve actually done in Togo and to make themselves feel good…. Other PCVs also have had frustrations with the map, too. So perhaps we should start counseling PCVs to do the map, but make them away of the challenges and potential setbacks ahead of time.

The map is beautiful and I’m very proud of it. But if I had a choice I’m not sure if I would do it again. Or if I would do it again, I would definitely change the way I did things, and I would rope the teachers into obligating the students to help me on Wednesday afternoons and on the weekends. (I was a sucker and was too nice and said “Oh of course you have to work in the fields, ok, well, come if it’s possible…. Just try….” If it was a real teacher at the school he would have said “Sorry about your private life but I need you on Saturday so show up or else.”)

“Work”

Started up the English club (twice a week) again. It was put on hold while we were doing the world map. I wanted to do English work with the Troisieme again this year to prepare them for their BEPC (national exam that will let them go to high school) but the school director has not yet taken me up on this offer and time is running out, unfortunately. So I don’t think this will happen.

The total number of primary schools I am working in is now 4. This too has its frustrations. Because of the scheduling, I cannot work in all 4 in one week. This means that every single week I had to walk around to every school to set up the schedule (OK I came last week so I’m not coming this week… OK shall I come Tuesday? …. Etc) Also more and more I am getting “bumped” as the rainy season is in full fledge and the teachers want the kids to go to the fields in the afternoon. This is very frustrating and sometimes makes me very stubborn and angry. Especially after I’m the one who has put forth effort into setting up the schedule, I get upset when I’m cancelled at the last minute. Sometimes this makes me not want to put a lot of effort into re-scheduling. Work is very difficult because I do not have any true “counterparts” that work with me that can continue my work after I’m gone and also puts all of work responsiblities on me – IE it’s up to me to motivate myself to show up at the schools and say “excuse me, can I stop by on Thursday afternoon to work with the kids”—I don’t have anyone that comes by and says “Anna! We love your work! You’re comng by on Thursday, right?” I know the school directors all appreciate me, but they place all of the motivation on me , so sometimes it’s difficult to feel like I’m actually accomplishing anything. So many times I sit and write out lists of what I want to accomplish (young mothers’ training, girl scouts, mini-camp at the schools) but then things never materialize because it is all on me to put it into practice and not only is this overwhelming but sometimes I just honestly don’t know how to start something so it never happens. My APCD talked to me and said the first year I did so many great things, the implication being that now I’m in my second year I am not really doing anything, so now I’m under pressure to “do” something. (This is a whole ‘nother topic for a different conversation and it might not even be appropriate for this blog.) It’s easy to start putting things off about this time though; meetings and preparation for things like Camp Espoir are under way, so it’s hard not to look at a calendar and say “Well there’s only one week available in June where I could do a mothers’ training, but I don’t know if I’ll have enough time to prep for it the week before so I don’t know if I should do it…..”

When I’m free, I continue to help out at the dispensaire weighing babies and there are other things keeping me busy, Camp Espoir preparations, Leve Toi Jeune Fille work (the magazine I help edit), village life including fetes and weddings and going to the fields and organizing the kids’ Easter skit and rehearsing with the tailors for their performance at May 1st Fete and a whole bunch of other stuff that keeps me busy and tired all the time but somehow nothing to “prove” myself……

Easter

Easter was fanta-bu-lous. I’d forgotten that at somepoint during all the vigils (can’t remember if it was Thursday or Saturday) there is a long interlude with drums and singing while people rush around taking down all the clothes that have been hiding the crucifixes and statues and put up garlands and relight the candles. Quite marvelous to see, especially Michel balancing on the back of the priest’s chair to reach the top of the large crucifix that was draped in purple (see, if it was me, at this point I would have tumbled to the floor and broken my ankle). The Easter play went splendidly – even better than Christmas, although we didn’t have as big an audience because people went home since it was so late. I should have done it on Easter Sunday cause I don’t think the video turned out that well ‘cause it was nighttime. And thankfully, Jesus remembered to rise from the dead, which he (she) forgot to do during dress rehearsal (at which point I was rocking back and forth whimpering from stress).

My absolute favorite part? When I brought out one of the girls dressed up as a chicken (beak and all) and she CROWED into the microphone when Simon Peter denied Christ three times. The church erupted into applause and amusement.

Adjo was so proud of her spear that I made out of a stick and cut-up flipflop and duct-tape. We used one of the three kings’ crowns for Pontius Pilate. There were about 15 little girls who took part. People kept coming up and saying in Ewe “You really made an effort” which basically means “Amazing job”. Just like Christmas, they hadn’t imagined it would be so great. (I’m pretty proud of the props.) Jesus even had a crown of thorns, and we threw in a scene of Veronique wiping his (her – all female actors) face with a towel that I drew a face on with Sharpies and watercolor paints (so it looked bloody). The next day, the lady who makes beignets (doughnuts), whose daughter participated, wouldn’t let me pay for the doughnuts and gave me 4 free (that’s a lot). Everyone was surprised the amount of time it must have taken to rehearse and the girls’ “gumption” to perform in front of everyone.

Easter morning I divided up the money that had been through at us (in Togo when someone is dancing or performing or singing or whatnot, if you want to appreciate them you press coins or candy to their head) amongst the girls (about 600 CFA, or 45 cfa each, which is about twice what they spend every day on snacks during recess) and also gave them each a religious medal from my stash that my mother sent. Every single time I see one of my girls they are wearing this medal. Once again, just like after Christmas, when I pass the church there are always a few that come out to meet me, shy devotion and gratitude in their eyes, and pride too. They know that what they did/do far exceeded anyone’s expectations. And I was proud of them too, and glad it all turned out ok, considering that rehearsals were very difficult due to conflicting schedules (I got stood up numerous times and finally threatened that if no one came tomorrow then we just wouldn’t have any play at all and how would they feel about that) until I enlisted Simon’s help to start making firm announcements at the end of Mass that they BETTER show up that afternoon; and managing any more than four kids always means chaos. (Imagine a group of fourteen 7 to 14 year olds all chattering in Ewe and correcting each other and goofing off and critiquing and whispering….. I swear I aged ten years during Easter.) But it all turned out ok, and has been added to one of my favorite memories so far.

Village Drama

You think a little African village is sleepy and ignorant and doesn’t have anything going on? This is only a sampling of the drama that I know about, and I barely know anything cause I try not to implicate myself…

My married, old chief (his kids are my age and work in Lomé, his wife lives in Lomé) apparently is courting an apprentice (my age) and is probably setting her up as his mistress (this is hearsay only…). He wants to house her in the house next to Justine IE in my compound and Justine has refused pointblank. The chief doesn’t actually want to go against her wishes, even though she doesn’t have any authority over him, but instead wants her to give her acceptance to this arrangement and now thinks she is being too stubborn and doesn’t miss an opportunity to nag her.
Several men who attend church have more than one wife (not religiously married, obviously) – oh African Catholicism.
The man that Vialé has been in love with for three years broke of his (undercover) relationship with her, saying that Justine went to his family and reiterated that she doesn’t approve and that she will do everything possible to prevent the relationship including she will leave her husband. Now the man (a university student) has completely thrown Vialé over, ignoring her and refusing to return her calls, etc (Wow, sound familiar?). The pain in Vialé’s eyes when she told me this was unbelievable. (But at the same time I was flattered that she told me). However there is NO WAY I am touching this one with a ten-foot pole, or even a twenty foot pole – all Vialé says is that Justine doesn’t like the quartier that the man is from but it’s the same quartier that Simon comes from so I think I’m not getting the whole picture. Vialé won’t confront Justine over it cause she doesn’t want to be insulted. I AM NOT getting in the middle of it and neither of them have asked or expected me to.
When the Committee of Village Development, a committee that is supposed to manage the village, was being elected, Simon and over 80 young people from the church mobilized to elect people they thought would be good for the village. The chief heard about it and called them to his house to warn them not to vote against the man he wanted to become president of the CVD (a distant relative I believe). Fifteen times he called them to his house to admonish them. Simon and his friends didn’t like this man and didn’t think he would work well for the village . The day of the “election” something happened (I’m not exactly sure what – they weren’t notified or something) and the man the chief selected was “elected” president.
An ONG financed the construction of the youth center/library and the pharmacy, planning that in May of this year (IE this month) the village would take over the running and would have learned to be self-sufficient. A year ago Simon and his committee wrote a (unfortunately harsh) letter to the village saying “Attention!” and that the management was in danger of being badly run. They were harshly criticized and there is still bad blood between the two camps (no one likes to be publically critiqued) . But now a year later, there is NO MONEY left in the pharmacy bank account and the funds have not been accounted for. So what Simon predicted, albeit a bit too tactlessly, has come true. Who knows what’s going to happen – as it is even when we supposedly had funding sometimes I was forced (through passive aggressiveness on the part of my homologue) to buy fuel for the generator so I could use the computer, but then the next day everyone would want to watch a soccer match and the money would mysteriously be found to pay for that…
When the dispensaire had been built a few years ago, an interim health worker (until the state could provide one) was proposed from amongst the villagers. The chief refused the choice. (Why the chief should have any say in this matter is a bit unclear, but there you have village politics and obeisance to royalty.) Delphine, the professional midwife who is currently at the dispensaire, was at this time at a private clinic near my house; in the middle of taking annual leave, she suddenly appeared at the dispensary (IE the chief asked her to move over there) and has worked there ever since. To this day, the doctor from the private clinic, whose work she basically abandoned, and Delphine refuse to talk to each other.
And that’s just a sampling….

First of May

The First of May (the workers’ fete) has come and gone. This year, being a bit busier, I wasn’t at every rehearsal for the tailors, but I managed to catch the last few ones, and would always try to participate in their choreographed performances. The last number, a salsa-esque routine, I was there when they first taught it, and managed to pick it up before anyone else mastered it. At which point the tailor teaching us started stomping around (he’s rather melodramatic) and muttering that The yovo could dance so well and how come she was the first one to learn it and the apprentices better pick up their game and didn’t they know the performance was in two days and come on now, just watch and see how Anna does it….. I wore the pagne selected by the tailors (at fetes families or unions or whatever like to wear the same pagne) and Justine and I had the same complet, designed by me. We were cooking at the house till about noon and then showed up at the Catholic school which has nice grounds for fetes; all the tailors had “pot luck” ie we all shared everything and then afterwards we had the performances, marred as usual by some petty drama and misorganization and miscommunication but in the long run nothing unusual…. Around 630 I left because I didn’t feel like walking back in the dark and Justine followed soon after ; it was about this time that the teenagers were showing up to start the “real” party to dance till dawn…. In the morning I talked to Michel and Emmanuel a bit, abandoning Justine (she seemed surprised I wasn’t always there every time she turned around); in the afternoon too Kokoutse and Bogavi showed up and I was thrilled to hang out with them too, which is interesting — I think I’m starting to crave the company of my peers and “friendship” more and more, which you would think at this point in my service I would be getting less lonely and not more lonely… Justine had made me wear a pair of heels I had only worn for my swear-in. Because I danced so much and because my feet are used to wearing Chacos or Tevas or flipflops, all that night I didn’t sleep because I had hurt the bones in my feet so much and the next day was very very difficult for me too. I felt like such a wimp… By Sunday it was all better though J

Things I’m Glad I Bought Back…

When I came back from the States in January, my suitcases were mainly full of presents for my village, but there are certain things I use that every time I do I think about glad I am to have brought them. They are: my jogging shoes that Lizzy gave me and sports bras — without these I probably would have stopped my running a long, long time ago, but I’ve been doing it consistently for 12 weeks now; the AAA-battery run charger for my ipod (in case I can’t get to Vogan to charge it on Friday); the face moisturizer Sophia gave me; Bare Minerals makeup; basically all my “Christmas In January” presents from my sisters; my contact lenses; photos from January ; ……..

I wish I had brought back… more batteries (AAA and AA), sauce packets (like for pasta), hot chocolate/coffee instant packets, little kids’ workbooks, more Tshirts with Americana on them…

You know what I wish I had? A typewriter. I wish I could find one. I HATE writing everything (and I mean everything) by hand!

Vialé

I was hanging out at the youth center when Vialé called to me. “When you’re ready to leave, I have something for you in the dispensaire office.”

“Ooo. What is it? Food? You can show me now!”

Ah yes, a demand for instant gratification…

In the office she handed me an envelope with no name on it. I could feel the papers inside it. She said, “No, open it at home!”

“But why? Can I open it now?”

She hesitated. “OK. Go ahead.” And then, embarrassed, she ducked out of the room.

There was a letter inside the envelope, two sheets of paper covered with careful handwriting. The English translation cannot do it justice but here it is, a shadow of what it meant to read it French and to know instantaneously the sincerity of the words.

April 17 2009

Words of Thanks to the sister Anna H

“….Those who love others fulfill the law.” Romans 13:8

These two fetes at Sevagan would have been a calm moment without the considerable support of our sister from the Peace Corps Anna Harrison who we call “Anna”. I was very surprised and marveled by the open welcome that you have shown our church and in particular to our little girls since your arrival in village . Despite all the difficulties that you find here you have put up with it all everytime we’re all together and with a good attitude; you have worked tirelessly with our little sisters in training them to be dynamic, confident, and able young women, in teaching them your theatre plays. I lack the words to tell you exactly all you have done for our little sisters and not only for them but for the development of our church. You are here without any member of your family but you have taken us like your family. Don’t ever think that you alone; I assure you that God your creator is next to you; ask Him whatever you want and he will give it to you. Only God can thank you enough for what you have done and what you continue to do for us. I have nothing to give you in return; I can never repay you. Only God can give you what you deserve. You are a welcoming, marvelous, dynamic woman. Always have confidence in God. The children too will never, ever, cease to pray for you every day; they will never forget you. That our Virgin Mother protect you from all harm.

Clemence “Vialé”

She kept wandering in and out of the room, waiting patiently for me to be able to speak. But what exactly do you say to gratitude? That it is you who are grateful ? That perhaps it was/is all worth it finally?

Finally I mumbled: “I don’t do anything everyone else wouldn’t do. I don’t deserve it. What I do – it’s no better than anyone else.”

And her eyes flashed and her finger raised angrily.

“Do you think—” And each word was annuciated with passion and conviction, angrily biting off the ends of each syllable “–that before you came here les petits have ever done what you let them do? Do you think that at Christmas and at Easter our little ones perform in front of the congregation like that, every year? Never. It is always les grands, who perform, and who make Adjo cry, like last year, because they refused to let their little sisters dance with them If you weren’t here they would have done nothing. No one has ever, ever believed in them the way you do. Let me tell you something. Do you think they would have ever that courage before you came? The one who played Jesus. Francoise. To hear her speak out like that? Incredible. I have never seen her express herself like that. I teach her in Sunday school. She is always quiet. She is always resting tranquilly. She is not loud. She does not like to talk in front of others. And then to see her play Jesus so well ; to pay no mind to her audience; to remember all those lines; to be so serious. Unbelievable. Because someone believed in her? What you give us is extraordinary. Because you don’t come here to give us money. Instead you have given us your soul and your heart and your love. I know it is difficult for you. And I know I can never repay you. But what you do for us — I will remember it all my life.”

Travel Plans

Next week I’m going to Benin for two days. We are just going to stay in Grand Popo, a beach town near the border, so before I COS I hope to return and visit the historical and cultural sites in Cotonou and Porto Novo; I’m kind of disappointed we’re not doing this the first time around. There is also a park in the north of Benin where you can safari and people have seen lions and elephants and giraffes so I’m hoping to visit there too before September if I can find someone to go with me. (After Sept. I’m not allowed to use my vacation days.) I was also invited to go to Mali and Burkina Faso for about 10 days with two other PCVs (it is their COS trip) and if money permits I would like to join them. That will be at the end of August but I haven’t decided anything, I’m seeing how much to budget first.

And of course Sophia is coming sometime!! =D